Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
So now we fast forward one week to the morning of January 17th. Hanna has been skating for 5 years and Jake has been skating for about 5 minutes. Let's see the differences:
But then came the evening of January 17th. The night when everyone came together from near and far (thanks, Ben and Kim) to celebrate mom's 60th birthday. Family, friends, good food, good stories, and wonderful gifts was all contained in a wonderful night for my mom. Love ya, mom, and so do a lot of other people who's lives you have touched. You say that you are "blessed", but it is all of us that are "blessed" by knowing you and learning from you each and everyday.
So, do you think we surprised her?
I will be posting videos shortly from Hanna's birthday party, mom's 60th birthday party and the kids ice skating lessons. And the ice skating has nothing to do with the 1.5 inches of ice on our driveway and streets on Wednesday.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The final contract for outfielder Gabe Kapler was for $1,000,018, the extra 18 representing Kapler's lucky number, as well as a symbol of life, or chai, in the Jewish community.
I think I will do the same thing when my raise is announced at the end of the month. I will not accept that 3% cost of living increase unless they insure that my salary ends in 18 as in $8.18/hr.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Steelers fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Steelers fans. Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
'Because I'm not a Steelers fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Steelers fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Ravens fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Ravens fan?'
Because my mom is a Ravens fan, and my dad is Ravens fan, so I'm a Ravens fan too!''
'Well ,' said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Ravens fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
'Then,' Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Steelers fan.'
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Ravens fan, and a Steelers fan - are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins!' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Ravens fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, 'This
is for everyone!' and pushes the Steelers fan off the mountain.
A Ravens fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Steelers fan he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Black & Gold shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them then s werve back just missing them.
One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, 'Where are you going, Father?'
'I' m going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road,' replied the priest.
'Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!' The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road.
Suddenly, the driver saw a Steelers fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still
didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, 'Sorry Father , I almost hit that Steelers fan.'
'That's OK,' replied the priest 'I got him with the door.'
- Farts are created mostly by E. coli.
- On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% is what makes them stink.
- The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
- A person produces about half a liter of farts a day.
- Although they won't admit it, women fart as much as men.
- Termites are the largest producers of farts.
- Farts are flammable.
- The word "fart" comes from the Old English "feortan" (meaning "to break wind").
- Excess gas in the intestinal is medically termed "flatulence."
and, one about urine:
- Mercaptan in asparagus is what causes urine to smell.
Now you can't say you didn't know that. You can say you wish you didn't know, though.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
My baby brother, Jeremy, celebrated a birthday on the 5th. My lovely daughter, Hanna, celebrated her 9th birthday on the 6th. My mother is getting ready to celebrate her birthday on the 16th. And, then we have my brother, Ben, with his birthday in the beginning of February. All of this after the gift giving of Hannukah. But, that was last year, we are looking ahead.
And, with that, I have an idea for 2009. Something that can help people. (Look it's a "new" me. The new sleeker, 2009 version of Mitch.) But, listen to this idea and let me know if you have any ideas on how can I get this working...
Have you ever taken your child out to a meal at one of those fancy restaurants where the kid's get their own individual menus? And as we are all aware, besides getting these menus, each child is provided with a small box or plastic pouch of crayons for minutes and minutes of enjoyment. Shortly after ordering your meal, your children continue using the crayons until the meal comes. They quickly put the crayons away and eat to their little tummies are content. The bill then comes, it is paid and you leave the restaurant. Does this scenario sound familiar?
Well, what ever happens to those poor crayons? They must have some drawing left in them. But, we will never know because the "busser" has come along and scooped them into their big plastic bin to get thrown in with the other trash.
Wouldn't it be great if these crayons could be collected and donated to someone not as fortunate to enjoy the above scenario? There has got to be a way to get this idea off the ground. So, anybody out there got any ideas?